The Great Escape

An escape is something I feel I'm always looking for.  Not really a "go somewhere" kind of escape, but something that makes my current situation seem different.  Sometimes I mistake this as "inspiration," when really it's just an activity or pastime that diverts the incessant thoughts and ideas in my head.  For example, ever since I was little I've always fallen asleep watching TV.  Yes, you can blame it on the fact that I wasn't raised properly or I'm lazy, but I don't believe any of that.  I honestly think it's because the TV distracts me from what my mind is thinking.

My next distraction would be movies or television shows.  Call me trash, but I get a kick out of watching reality TV, such as Celebrity Apprentice or the Real Housewives.  It's something else to focus on besides the large amount of homework, buttloads of practicing, and everything else that adds up.  Hearing an Asian say "here go hell come" on a Bravo reality TV show fulfills my life.

Next, there's nothing like a good book.  Unfortunately I'm a picky reader (yup, I almost wrote "picky eater" because I'm that too!).  My idea of a good book is something I can't put down and I finish within a few days.  However, there are those exceptions with authors such as Truman Capote or F. Scott Fitzgerald to name a few, because every sentence is so unique in itself that rushing through it would not do the work justice.  I'm currently reading The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fiztgerald (recommended by two of my favoritest friends!) and I'm actually taking my time with it because I don't want it to end.  My favorite quote thus far is when Gloria said, "I don't like being twenty-two.  I hate it more than anything in the world."  Let's just say F. Scott himself has been my personal therapist for the past few days.

In the past few years I've picked up running as a pastime.  At first it was something really hard and almost seemed impossible at times, but now I can't see a life without it.  I've only recently begun running 5 miles or more, but it just gets better and better.  It's such a release to turn on an iPod and run until you can't run any further.  The regular rhythm of the breathing, the pounding of each step, organizing thoughts running through you head - all of which can be done in as little as 20 minutes.

Lastly, my favorite way to escape the rigors of the world is playing in a concert or going to a concert.  It can be rock, classical, outside, at Disney Hall, anywhere basically and the job is done.  I watched a movie this afternoon where the conflict was how the main character could not "let go."  Well at concerts I feel as though I'm just another person in the crowd (literally!) and it doesn't matter what I do.  I can honestly let go.  I'm allowed to interpret the music as I want and until the last note is played, it's just me and the reverberating sounds around the hall.  At "popular music" concerts you can jump up and down, put your hand up in the air, scream as loud as you can, or even share some harsh words with the person next to you, but as long as the band is on the stage, nothing else matters.  I love the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, waiting anxiously for the band to take the stage, and hearing a song that's been incessantly playing your head for weeks, sometimes even years, performed live.  Nothing beats it.

I love being transported to another world, or having that "out of body experience."  It's a way to organize thoughts, plan out my day, or basically forget what I don't want to think about.  What I've noticed is that this would not be possible for me without culture and art. This probably sounds cliché, but everything I enjoy is the result of something created or pioneered by someone else.  Running may be the only exception, but even then there's the music or even the society we live in where running is popular and accessible.  I wish I were a better writer or speaker so I could express exactly what I'm thinking, but for now I'll keep most of it inside, except for the few moments when I'm performing and I forget about everything else.  Until then, I plan on finishing an episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and going for a jog in the morning.